RICE. really hoping it’s just a small strain and nothing serious…but I can’t walk without pain near my heel right now. getting too old and easily hurt.

so I went to LA last week with friends who met up with their old friends and took this jumping photo at Santa Monica. It’s incredibly easy for me to get used to places - I think I can envision staying in SF a few years more granted I find affordable housing, but LA was just sprawl and traffic. I couldn’t tell where LA began and where it ended, which may be part of the poor design? There was a traffic on every freeway such that the 16 mile drive from North Hollywood to the (incredibly warm when it’s sunny) beach took an hour and a half. That was simply grueling. Otherwise, the food we had was quite good, if only because we went to the more expensive places. It was also way too hot, but I seriously enjoyed being in the water. For some reason though, I started shivering after a short while and could not understand it…everyone else was fine. Also I have yet to learn to tread water. 
I miss the ocean already.

so I went to LA last week with friends who met up with their old friends and took this jumping photo at Santa Monica. It’s incredibly easy for me to get used to places - I think I can envision staying in SF a few years more granted I find affordable housing, but LA was just sprawl and traffic. I couldn’t tell where LA began and where it ended, which may be part of the poor design? There was a traffic on every freeway such that the 16 mile drive from North Hollywood to the (incredibly warm when it’s sunny) beach took an hour and a half. That was simply grueling. Otherwise, the food we had was quite good, if only because we went to the more expensive places. It was also way too hot, but I seriously enjoyed being in the water. For some reason though, I started shivering after a short while and could not understand it…everyone else was fine. Also I have yet to learn to tread water. 

I miss the ocean already.

I can barely see… (at Twin Peaks Summit)

Triforce of flights (at Magnolia Gastropub & Brewery)

Driving up the 101 and seeing the lights of Sutro tower just doesn’t give you the same breathtaking feeling as seeing the skyscrapers of midtown and downtown peak over the landscape going up the turn of I78. Maybe I should take 580 to cross the Bay Bridge next time I drive back to SF from a trip.

I’m bad at pointing at things. (at Griffith Observatory)

In Princeton? (at Cantor Arts Center at Stanford University)

Gave up waiting for the sunset. (at Half Moon Bay Beach! (:)

I was randomly discussing horror movies with a lab volunteer, and thought about this one to recommend which I watched on Netflix bumming off a friend’s account a few months ago. The cover is excessively sinister, and the film itself may be paced too slowly, but this movie definitely resonated with me in a quiet, sad way. It’s ostensibly about an estranged mother’s death and her estate that’s left to her son, who moved in to deal with her belongings. I think that theme carries out well throughout the movie, this undertone of melancholy and loneliness. It definitely reminds me of my relationship with my parents, which is not close at all, and now that I’m across the country, even more estranged. I’ve been feeling extremely bad that I’ve basically left them, though I haven’t been living at home for the last three years anyway, I went back home at least twice a month. I fear they feel abandoned, and my mother admitted to me as much that she feels really lonely. I thought that with my brother and I basically grown up, they would be happy and start travelling or going on vacations and stuff, which they did a few months ago, too. But it seems that they aren’t handle empty-nesting well. It’s not like we have an extremely close relationship in the first place, I’ve held my parents at arms-length since being able to, and I feel like it’s part of growing up to not be a moody teenager who ‘hates their parents’ anymore. But it’s difficult, especially in Chinese culture to do this sort of mending.

I don’t know, I’ve just been feeling sort of down lately and just need to wallow in it a bit.

the year of lost chinese new year memories

there was a chinese new years in elementary school many years ago where I got this book / kit with a cheapo camera that taught you about photography and how cameras worked. for whatever reason, I was the only one documenting the CNY festivities that year. super proud of taking all the pictures and finishing the roll, and the camera being a basic one without any frills, I manually rewound and watched the film roll back excitedly so that we can go to the photo store for developing. a few days later, they told us that the film was overexposed. who knew that you weren’t supposed to have the back open while rolling the film up (I recall ‘twas fascinating to watch)? either the instructions were horrible, I was super dense, or I just totally ignored the book.

Thought I found another cafe while playing tourist but apparently this building currently hosts Wharton and Mozilla.

Made a relief print.

I finally set up my computer again after more than two months of just laptop usage. It was hibernated from when I left NJ and the pages that loaded up were from February, when I was freaking out over the winter storm warnings for the northeast during my drive. I made it through alive but I still feel so transient in this city, as if I’m just an extended tourist.